Honesty and Dishonesty: Beyond the surface
The concepts of honesty and dishonesty, fidelity and infidelity, often evoke strong reactions from people, shaped by moral, cultural, and societal conditioning. These binaries dominate much of human interaction, creating judgments about what is right and wrong, what is ethical and unethical. However, when we delve deeper into these ideas, we begin to see that these distinctions are part of a broader illusion of duality—a construct that humanity has built over millennia to navigate the complexities of life.
The very act of labeling actions as “honest” or “dishonest,” “faithful” or “unfaithful” stems from a worldview that is bound by dualistic thinking. In such a worldview, life is divided into opposites—good and bad, right and wrong, true and false. Yet, as we explore the nature of consciousness and presence, it becomes clear that these dichotomies are not fixed, but rather fluid, shaped by the limited perceptions of the human mind.
At the heart of this inquiry lies the question: what happens when one operates with complete presence, in a state of being where the mind is free from the constructs of past and future, of moral judgments, and of conditioned responses? In such a state, does the very notion of honesty and dishonesty, fidelity and infidelity, dissolve? Can we transcend the dualities that dominate our understanding of reality? And if so, what does that reveal about the nature of the “real world” we think we live in?

In this exploration, we will dive deep into these questions, dissecting the nature of honesty, dishonesty, fidelity, and infidelity, and ultimately aiming to dissolve the myths and illusions that surround them.
From an early age, we are taught that honesty is a virtue, a moral standard by which we should live. To be honest is to tell the truth, to be transparent, and to act in alignment with what is considered ethical. Dishonesty, on the other hand, is seen as a vice—deceiving, hiding the truth, or acting in ways that betray trust. Society has built intricate structures around these concepts, embedding them in legal systems, educational frameworks, and interpersonal relationships.
However, what we often fail to recognize is that both honesty and dishonesty are constructed within the realm of thought. They are ideas that arise from the human mind, shaped by cultural and historical contexts. What may be considered honest in one culture could be viewed as dishonest in another. For instance, in some cultures, withholding certain information is seen as a way to protect others, while in other societies, it may be seen as deceit. Thus, honesty and dishonesty are not objective truths; they are relative concepts that depend on context, perception, and belief systems. This recognition opens the door to questioning the very foundations of these moral judgments.
Honesty and dishonesty, as we commonly understand them, are rooted in dualistic thinking—the division of the world into opposites. Duality, in this sense, is a mental construct that allows us to navigate the complexities of life. It simplifies the world into categories of right and wrong, true and false, and gives us a sense of control over the moral and ethical landscape we inhabit.
But this division is inherently limiting. It creates conflict, both internally and externally, because it forces us to align with one side of the dichotomy and reject the other. When we view honesty and dishonesty as fixed opposites, we become trapped in a cycle of judgment, always measuring ourselves and others against these standards.
In relationships, fidelity is often equated with loyalty, faithfulness, and commitment. To be faithful is to remain true to one’s partner, to honor the bond of trust that has been established. Infidelity, by contrast, is seen as a betrayal—a breaking of that trust, a violation of the commitment made. These concepts are deeply ingrained in societal norms and expectations, particularly in romantic and marital relationships.
However, like honesty and dishonesty, fidelity and infidelity are also socially constructed. The very notion of what it means to be faithful or unfaithful varies across cultures and historical periods. In some societies, monogamy is seen as the ultimate expression of fidelity, while in others, polygamy or open relationships are accepted norms. The rules that govern fidelity are not universal; they are shaped by cultural, religious, and personal beliefs.
At the heart of fidelity and infidelity lies the idea of ownership—ownership of another person’s body, mind, and emotions. When we commit to a relationship, particularly in the context of marriage or long-term partnership, there is often an implicit expectation that we “own” each other in some way. This ownership manifests in the form of expectations about exclusivity, loyalty, and the boundaries of the relationship.
But this notion of ownership is illusory. No one can truly own another person, and attempting to do so creates a sense of possessiveness that is rooted in fear and insecurity. Fidelity, when seen through the lens of ownership, becomes a way of controlling the other person, of ensuring that they remain within the boundaries we have set for them.
True love is not possessive or conditional. When we love someone, we do not seek to control them or to bind them to our expectations. Instead, we allow them the freedom to be who they are, without judgment or restriction. This kind of love transcends the dualities of fidelity and infidelity because it is not based on ownership or attachment.
Infidelity, when it occurs, is often seen as the ultimate betrayal. It brings up feelings of hurt, anger, and rejection. But from a deeper perspective, infidelity can be understood as a mirror—an opportunity to examine the underlying dynamics of the relationship and the expectations that have been placed on it.
When someone is unfaithful, it is not necessarily a reflection of their character or moral standing. Rather, it can be a reflection of the unmet needs and desires that exist within the relationship. These unmet needs may be emotional, physical, or psychological, and they often stem from a lack of true connection or understanding between partners. Infidelity, in this sense, is not the cause of the problem but a symptom of deeper issues that have been ignored or suppressed. It forces us to confront the illusions we have built around relationships—the illusion of ownership, the illusion of permanence, and the illusion of control.
To operate with 100% presence in the moment is to be fully aware, fully engaged, and fully alive in the here and now. It means to live without the interference of past conditioning or future projections, to see reality as it is, without the filters of judgment, expectation, or attachment. Presence is the state of pure awareness, where the mind is not divided into opposites, and the self is not fragmented by thought. When we are truly present, the concepts of honesty and dishonesty, fidelity and infidelity, dissolve. In the state of presence, there is no division between right and wrong, true and false, because these are constructs of the mind. Presence transcends duality and brings us into direct contact with reality as it is—without the distortions of thought or emotion.
In the state of presence, honesty and dishonesty lose their meaning. Honesty is often defined as telling the truth, but what is truth? Truth, in its most profound sense, is not a fixed concept; it is fluid, dynamic, and constantly changing. When we are present, we do not cling to fixed ideas of truth or falsehood; we simply respond to the reality of the moment. Dishonesty, in this sense, is not about lying or deceiving others. It is about being out of alignment with the present moment—about acting from a place of conditioning, fear, or attachment, rather than from a place of awareness. When we are fully present, there is no need for dishonesty because we are in harmony with the flow of life. We do not need to manipulate or control the situation; we simply respond with clarity and integrity.
The concept of fidelity, too, dissolves when one operates in the present moment with full awareness. Fidelity, in its conventional sense, is often tied to promises, contracts, and the expectation of a continuous future. In relationships, it becomes a pledge to behave in certain ways over time, to stay within defined boundaries, and to remain “true” to another person. But these pledges are built upon mental constructs and future projections—on an imagined continuity that is bound by time and expectation.
When one is fully present, these future projections lose their weight, and fidelity is no longer about promises made for tomorrow but about the authenticity of being in relationship here and now. In presence, fidelity is not something forced or negotiated, but an expression of truth in the moment. One cannot be unfaithful in presence because one is not operating from a divided mind that clings to past commitments or fears future betrayals. Instead, there is simply an unfolding of truth as it is, unconditioned by the past and unconcerned with future outcomes.
Infidelity, often seen as the antithesis of fidelity, also loses its traditional meaning when approached from a place of presence. Infidelity typically arises from dissatisfaction, a feeling that something is lacking in the current relationship or situation. This dissatisfaction propels one to seek fulfillment elsewhere, outside the bounds of the established relationship. But what is at the root of this dissatisfaction? Often, it is the mind’s attachment to desires, projections, and unexamined needs that fuel the urge to look beyond the present relationship. In presence, there is no room for such projections. The mind, when it is fully attuned to the present, does not dwell on what is lacking or seek fulfillment outside of what is unfolding in the here and now. When one is present with a partner or in any relationship, the relationship is no longer bound by the rigid labels of fidelity and infidelity. There is simply a connection, a flow of being, that is not controlled by societal norms or personal insecurities. In this way, presence dissolves the very constructs that give rise to infidelity, not by imposing rules or boundaries, but by making them irrelevant.
Dissecting Risk: Risk Reevaluated
To understand risk, one must first examine its intertwined relationship with fear and uncertainty. Fear, in many respects, is a primal instinct, a protective mechanism that has evolved over millennia to ensure our survival. When faced with uncertainty, fear is our brain’s way of signaling possible danger. This fear then transmutes into the perception of risk. If we dissect the concept further, risk is not merely the chance of a negative outcome; it is the variability of all possible outcomes, both positive and negative.
Historically, our ancestors perceived risk in terms of immediate threats to survival. A rustling in the bushes could be a predator; consuming an unknown fruit could be poisonous. The decision to confront or flee from such situations was binary and rooted in the immediate need for survival. Over time, as societies became more complex and the nature of threats more multifaceted, our understanding of risk evolved. It began encompassing not just immediate physical threats but also social, emotional, and existential ones. The risk of rejection, the risk of failure, the risk of lost opportunities – these became the new “predators” lurking in the modern-day bushes. When we probe deeper into the origin of risk, we see that it arises from our innate desire to predict, control, and secure our futures. As sentient beings, we’re acutely aware of the passage of time and the transient nature of life. This awareness engenders a need to anticipate and influence future outcomes. When the outcome of an action or decision is uncertain, the mind perceives a risk.
However, it’s essential to note that risk, in itself, is neutral. It’s our emotional and cognitive responses to it that assign value – labeling it as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. For instance, an entrepreneur might view starting a business in a saturated market as a worthy risk, driven by the thrill of competition and the lure of potential success. Conversely, someone more security-oriented might see the same situation as fraught with unnecessary peril. If one doesn’t fear loss, failure, or the unknown, does risk even exist for them? At a philosophical level, without fear, the concept of risk is indeed defanged. However, even in the absence of fear, the uncertainty of outcomes remains. The fearless individual might not perceive this uncertainty as threatening, but it exists nonetheless. In this context, risk transforms from an emotionally charged concept into a mere statistical or probabilistic one.

Our personal experiences significantly color our perception of risk. Someone who has experienced the turbulent waters of bankruptcy might view financial risks differently than someone who has always experienced financial stability. Similarly, someone who has been burnt in love might perceive emotional risks in relationships more acutely than someone who hasn’t. Our past becomes the lens through which we evaluate future uncertainties. Beyond these factors, there’s also the intriguing interplay between risk and reward. Often, the potential rewards are what entices individuals to take risks in the first place. The entrepreneur might be motivated by the potential success, recognition, and financial gain, while the mountaineer is driven by the allure of conquering a challenging peak and the accompanying sense of accomplishment. This dynamic relationship often acts as the fulcrum on which decisions are balanced, with individuals constantly gauging whether the potential rewards justify the inherent risks.
Our linear experience of time – past, present, and future – makes us unique in the animal kingdom. We’re not just reactive to the present but are perpetually planning, anticipating, and sometimes dreading the future. Risk becomes a manifestation of this temporal consciousness. It embodies our anxieties about the future, our memories of the past, and our actions in the present.

Risk also touches upon the core tenets of freedom and responsibility. The very act of making a choice, knowing that the outcomes are uncertain, underlines the essence of human freedom. Each choice, enveloped in risk, becomes an assertion of our existence. Jean-Paul Sartre, a prominent existential philosopher, believed that we are “condemned to be free.” This freedom carries the weight of responsibility. Every risk we take, every decision we make, anchors us more deeply into the world, creating ripples that affect not only our own lives but also those around us. In this context, risk becomes an embodiment of our existential freedom and the accompanying burdens of our choices.
Risk also invites us to confront the inherent unpredictability and chaos of the universe. Despite our best efforts, life remains fundamentally uncertain. This reality poses profound questions about determinism and free will. If everything is preordained, is there truly any ‘risk’? Yet, the very experience of uncertainty, the palpable tension before a decision’s outcome, seems to argue for the existence of free will, or at least the perception of it. This brings us to the concept of ‘absurdity’, as introduced by Albert Camus. For Camus, life is inherently absurd because humans constantly seek meaning in an indifferent universe. Risk, in many ways, mirrors this absurdity. We seek to calculate, manage, and control risks, attempting to impose order on the inherent chaos of existence. Yet, no matter how meticulous our calculations, the unpredictable can and often does occur.

The human mind is a complex apparatus that thrives on patterns, structures, and predictions. It’s this very nature of our mind that gives birth to the notion of “risk.” Risk, in essence, can be seen as a cognitive construct – a product of our mind’s incessant need to anticipate the future based on past experiences, knowledge, and the limited information at our disposal. Risk as we perceive it, might indeed be an illusion.
Imagine for a moment a world without memory and without the capability to anticipate the future. In such a world, every moment would be lived in its pure immediacy, with no concept of potential loss or gain in future endeavors. In this hypothetical scenario, the concept of “risk” would be non-existent.

Consider the stock market: A trader might perceive a significant risk in buying a particular stock. This perception is rooted in market analysis, past performance of the stock, global economic indicators, and a myriad of other variables. But strip all that away, and the “risk” is essentially a story, a narrative constructed from myriad data points and emotions like fear and greed.

Similarly, the fear of rejection or judgment in social situations, often seen as a social risk, is built upon personal experiences, societal norms, and cultural expectations. But at its core, it’s a self-created narrative – a story we tell ourselves about potential outcomes and their implications for our self-worth. Does this mean risk is entirely subjective? In many ways, yes. While there are objective measurements of risk in certain fields (like insurance or finance), the emotional and psychological experience of risk is deeply subjective.
Yet, this subjectivity doesn’t render the concept of risk meaningless. Even if risk is a construct, it holds tangible power over our actions, decisions, and emotions. The very fact that we can feel fear, anxiety, excitement, or anticipation when faced with uncertainty testifies to the real-world impact of this illusion.
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Whispers of the Quiet Quest!!
Silent seeker’s quest
In the realm of the silent seeker’s stride,
Where bridges burn, and shadows hide,
A journey deep, through time’s vast tide,
To realms within, where truths reside.
The witness stands, on shores of mind,
Observing life, to ties unbind.
Yet comes a time, the seeker finds,
To transcend watch, and life entwined.
For what’s an end, but a new dawn?
A realization, a reborn fawn.
Not a destination, but a stretch yawning wide,
A shift of soul, where truths reside.
Observer, witness, names do vary,
Yet their essence, one mustn’t miscarry.
A silent gaze, detached, unweary,
In the dance of life, a step so necessary.
The ego’s song, a siren’s call,
Binds the soul, in a webbed thrall.
But in awakened states, its grip does fall,
As vastness reigns, over the minuscule and small.
Time, a river, flowing swift and sure,
Past’s lessons, future’s lure.
Yet in the present, lies the cure,
To manifest dreams, pure and pure.
Intention sets the compass’ needle,
Visualization paints the dream’s easel.
Emotion fuels, action’s sequel,
And gratitude wraps, life’s upheaval.
In the dance of duality, the rhythm is profound,
Yet beyond the beats, a silence is found.
For in the heart of existence, where truths are unbound,
Lies the song of the soul, an eternal sound.
















