Love is a deeply profound and complex human emotion, often defying straightforward explanations and definitions. At its core, love can be viewed as an unconditional acceptance and appreciation of oneself or another, involving care, empathy, and a desire for the loved one’s well-being. This exploration will delve into why we sometimes feel the need for more or less love, why we keep expectations in love, and why love can sometimes result in hurt.

The expression of love involves a diverse array of feelings, behaviors, and beliefs, which are influenced by a myriad of psychological, social, cultural, and biological factors. From the perspective of evolutionary psychology, love can be seen as a survival mechanism, promoting bonding and mutual aid, which are crucial for the survival of our species.

On a psychological level, love involves the interplay of multiple elements including attachment, intimacy, commitment, passion, and care. It’s often in the dynamics of these elements that we start to perceive love as being ‘more’ or ‘less’. The need for ‘more’ love could be linked to an increased desire for emotional intimacy, assurance, or care, while the feeling of ‘too much’ love might be related to an overwhelming sense of vulnerability or loss of autonomy.

Cultural and societal norms also play a role in shaping our perceptions of love. Cultures around the world have different understandings and expectations of love, which influence how individuals perceive, express, and experience love.

The expectation in love is a widely experienced phenomenon and is closely tied to the human propensity for prediction and desire for stability. As human beings, we have an innate tendency to form expectations based on our past experiences and societal norms. These expectations can serve as a guide, helping us navigate our relationships and giving us a sense of control and predictability.

However, expectations can sometimes lead to disappointment and hurt when they are not met. This can happen when our expectations are unrealistic or when they are not aligned with the other person’s capabilities or intentions. It’s important to note that unmet expectations don’t necessarily imply a lack of love, but rather a discrepancy between our desires and reality.

The concept of love being always 100% and none when there’s less, is a philosophical interpretation that holds love as a complete, all-encompassing emotion. When we truly love, we love wholly and unconditionally. This kind of love does not fluctuate but remains constant, irrespective of circumstances. This is the ideal form of love, the one we aspire to, where love is pure, unconditional, and complete.

Yet, in our human experience, we often find ourselves in a different reality, one where love is not always perceived as complete or constant. In these instances, love can sometimes lead to hurt. This is because love involves vulnerability. To love is to open ourselves up to another, to let them affect us in a deeply personal way. This openness can sometimes lead to pain, especially if the love is not reciprocated, if there’s a betrayal, or if the loved one is lost.

Moreover, it’s crucial to distinguish between love as a pure, selfless emotion, and our human interpretations and reactions to this emotion. While love in its purest form is unconditional and constant, our perceptions and experiences of love are influenced by our individual personalities, past experiences, emotional needs, and mental health.

So, when we say we want ‘more’ love, what we often mean is that we want more demonstrations of love – more time, more affection, more understanding, more validation. Similarly, when we feel hurt in love, it’s often not love itself that hurts us, but the actions (or lack thereof) that stem from it, or rather, our interpretation of these actions.

It’s important to acknowledge that while love is a universal emotion, our understanding and experience of love are deeply personal and unique. It is through our interactions with others that we learn about love, and through introspection, we deepen our understanding of it.

As we continue our exploration of love, let’s delve into the concept of ‘contagious’ love. The contagious nature of love is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history and neurobiology. As social beings, our survival and well-being are dependent on our ability to form and maintain relationships with others. Love, being a powerful emotional bond, helps us create these social ties and foster cooperation.

On a neurological level, the contagiousness of love can be explained by the presence of mirror neurons in our brain. These are a type of brain cell that responds equally when we perform an action or when we witness someone else perform the same action. When we see a loved one expressing love, our mirror neurons fire, causing us to mimic their emotional state internally. This neural ‘mirroring’ can result in us experiencing a similar feeling of love, making it seem as if love is ‘contagious’.

The shared experience of love enhances empathy, strengthens social bonds, and promotes communal harmony. It allows us to understand and share the feelings of others, contributing to our ability to empathize and connect on a deeper level. Moreover, when we see love being expressed, it often inspires us to express our own love more freely, spreading the emotion in a ripple effect.

However, as we navigate through the realms of love, we often come face-to-face with the reality of emotional pain. Why do we get hurt in love? It’s important to remember that love in its truest, most unadulterated form doesn’t cause pain. It is the conditions, expectations, and attachments that we often associate with love that lead to suffering.

We are often hurt when our expectations in love are not met. This could be because we expect certain behaviors from our loved ones, or we assume that our expression of love should be reciprocated in a certain way. When reality does not align with these expectations, it can result in feelings of disappointment, rejection, and hurt.

Furthermore, love inherently involves vulnerability. When we love, we open up, we share our innermost selves, our hopes, fears, dreams, and insecurities. This emotional openness leaves us susceptible to pain and hurt. If our vulnerability is not handled with care, or if our trust is broken, it can lead to deep emotional wounds.

Yet, it’s essential to note that the potential for pain should not deter us from embracing love. Love, even with its potential for hurt, brings a depth of emotion and a richness of experience that is unparalleled. The joy, connection, and growth that love can bring far outweigh the risks associated with it.

In addition, the pain that sometimes accompanies love can serve as a catalyst for personal growth and self-understanding. It can help us understand our emotional needs and patterns better, encourage us to develop healthier relationship skills, and foster emotional resilience.

In the grand tapestry of life, love weaves its own unique thread. It adds color, texture, and depth, making our human experience all the more vibrant and meaningful. Love, in its fullness, is not just an emotion; it is an experience, a journey. It is a journey of joy and pain, of connection and loss, of self-discovery and growth.

Understanding love in its entirety requires embracing its complexities, its highs and lows, its joys and pains. It involves recognizing that love is not merely about fulfilling our needs or desires, but about growth, understanding, and deep connection. It’s about seeing and accepting ourselves and others in our wholeness, with all our strengths and weaknesses, hopes and fears, perfections and imperfections.

And while love can sometimes lead to pain, it also holds the promise of healing. Love has the capacity to heal wounds, bridge divides, and transform our lives in profound ways. So, despite its complexities and challenges, we continue to seek love, to give love, to be in love. For in the end, love is not just an emotion; it is a fundamental part of our humanity, a testament to our capacity for empathy, connection, and kindness. It is a force that binds us, nurtures us, and propels us towards growth and fulfillment.